Acid Dreams

I need to remind myself that you’re gone and that you’re not coming back

and I have to remember myself that I wasn’t important and that I didn’t matter

and I need to remind myself that that’s the way it is. and even when I do this all the time I can’t stop feeling this way about you and I dont understand why because I swear all I want is to not love you anymore but I still do, and I’ve and I am working so hard but its not happening and I dont understand why it wont just leave because I am tired of crying every day and feel the way I do.

I never wanted any of this.

It hurts a lot, a lot more than I would like to. It just hurts a fucking lot. 

And I don’t understand any of it, and I want it to stop.